+1 Dreadmare first and foremost : ignore my previous criticism on this particular chapter. While most of them still applies to this map, they are meant for the first chapter and thus should not be considered as an in-depth criticism.

Now like I said, this map still have its flaws, however it is an improvement over the previous one. Gear progression is way too fast. Combat felt old. Datapack really should be used. However there are some other elements I want to talk about(mainly bosses).

i) This is the first time I died during a chase sequence, and admittedly I hate how dying will simply bring you to the next area. There are no reason to run away when you could've just let him kill you. Your armor most likely won't break(unless you are absolutely terrible in combat). It would be better if dying in a chase scene force you to do it again. On that note, bosses should reset when you die(so there's incentive to avoid attacks, as death is just a minor inconvenience).

ii) The bosses I felt have seen some improvement. Though again I'd prefer longer time in-between bosses, with more combat in-between to help build up tension. The map(and the previous one) is too short and can be made longer. Like the previous one I will go through the individual bosses and what I think could improve them.
a) Undead Commander. I can't help but notice that you tried putting regeneration on an undead. They are unaffected by it, so that renders one ability moot. The guard themselves are really slow, and the normal skeleton are really easy to kill. I'd make all bosses immune to knockback(or at least heavily resistant). The guard themselves could be made slightly faster(they're way too slow). I get that you wanted to put a regen effect on the boss, but that would require more setup. To do that, you'll need to setup a timer. When the timer goes off, store the boss' health in a scoreboard, increments it by however much you want, and put the new value back onto the boss. This should do the trick.

b) I for one have to praise the concept of sudden encounter against the Withered Zombie. Admittedly that's the only point it gets. It have fire resistance but you can't fall into the lava in the first place. I also despise the random wither effect. It felt like a cheap way to damage the player(and is really annoying). Dropping a potion that does the same thing(or a wither skull) would be better and less unfair. The adds themselves are annoying(and not really threatening). This boss didn't change from its various iteration and thus is starting to get a bit stale from the last battle.

c) This one doesn't feel like anything special. The cave spiders are a nice addition and they do serve their purposes. However my main criticism with this one is the water. This is 1.16, way past the aquatic update. We can swim in the water at great speed, which only make it serve as an effective getaway. It is annoying when you're in the shallow part, but get to the waterdrop and you can move around at insane speed. It doesn't help either that Cady appears to be having some difficulty navigating around, both perhaps to her size as well as the general terrain. It doesn't feel as much as a trap for the player as it was for Cady. Some changes to the terrain could help her navigate around, and usage of magma block to create a drag effect might work better than just placing down water everywhere.

d) The trident do deal considerable damage, but they seems to spawn on set location, which make it really easy once you figure that out. The drowned is nothing special. I was honestly expecting the drowned to have trident of some sort, but without a shield to block it, perhaps it is best they don't. This one is just like many other bosses in this map(and the other one). A boss that spawn adds and have one other gimnick to it. Jack might not need adds. Honestly, Jack felt really random and could be removed without changing the plot all that much.

e) Troy have some unique concepts but with a bit annoying execution. The punch bow never posed a threat. Just annoying an inconvenience(e specially when the chest are right next to a skeleton). It could work better if there are walls along the way, and you're supposed to use them as a cover. Not too much to say about this one, as I consider this one to be a boss well-done.

f) I have to admit. I like the idea of jumping over the moving lava. I just wished it would come in different directions. Also, it would seems like you don't need to kill any of the bosses. Are they not meant to be killed? Because if so that's a bummer. I kept trying to go on about killing Troy first, but it seemed like this one is more of a "survive for x time" rather than an actual boss fight. Bringing each bosses down to half health would be more satisfying. Otherwise good job in this one. Certainly a great improvement.

I'd be doing this for each individual chapters.

+1 Dreadmare A decent first-time map I've have to say. I certainly feel engaged to play through the whole thing. Though it is not without flaws. I've listed here some of my major criticisms with the map

1) gear progression felt way too fast. A gear set only last till the next boss fight, with relatively minimal combat in-between. My suggestion is to either increase the enemy count or reduce the amount of gear tier you can get. Both will require some re-balancing, but I do think it will help with gear progression

2) datapack is a lot faster than command blocks and redstone. Delayed actions can be done by using schedule function command. I suggest that future map are made using datapack instead. Here's a guide on setting up a datapack: https://minecraft.fandom.com/wiki/Tutorials/Creating_a_data_pack

3) barrier block is kinda a cheap way to prevent players from wandering off. It would be better to put in trees, hills or basically anything that visually imply that you can't go past that. It is a tedious task to do that though, so I totally understand.

4) alistair's betrayal doesn't feel as impactful, and this is because we don't really get to bond with him. It would be nice if Alistair was there in the beginning, with his betrayal apparent only in the end.

5) combat felt old and frankly I've never used a bow in the whole map. Maybe that's just me, or perhaps due to the lack of need to do so. On that note, skeletons are really annoying in enclosed space, because as soon as you shoot at them, they begin to attack you. It certainly makes the combat felt very old and not what the map version would suggest.

6) bosses need a lot of work imo. Using thorns is admittedly annoying, as you're getting punished for attacking something that you're supposed to kill. Bosses in general felt way too short and not terribly engaging, although they aren't broken or bad either. Also, using subtitle(with an empty title) to display the boss name is better fitting. Telling the boss' special moves is also a no-no. As they're a major component to a map(as well as one I'm most comfortable with), I'm gonna analyze each bosses and tell you how I feel and what I think could make it better

i) Golden Knight have some interesting idea. However, the spiders are way too big to fit in the maze, thus making them far less threatening. You can practically ignore them. I suggest either making the maze bigger to accomodate for the spider, or putting in cave spider inside the maze to keep it engaging. You can choose to constantly remove poison effect or not. Once you get teleported, he's pretty much just a fast zombie with more health. Adding in those spiders from earlier is a good way to start. Boss also need more health tbh

ii) The adds that spawn before Withered Zombie is kinda underwhelming. Except those fast guy. They're really annoying to deal with. Make them slower is what I would do. To compensate, increase the amount of enemy there are. There's too little add before the boss actually spawn. And once he do, he suffer from the same fate as Golden Knight. Those adds should be allowed to spawn in past that moment. As a side note, it would be cool if Midnight Skeleton somehow helped. I didn't really notice anything relating to "Assistance" when it comes to boss ability. So if he can either shoot down on the player(and maybe even join in periodically to attack with melee), that would be sweet.

iii) Midnight Skeleton is nothing special tbh. The poison cloud only ever hit the middle, which doesn't really make it interesting. Allowing them to spawn on any part of the map would make it more engaging and fun. The adds themselves aren't that special either and feels kinda repetitive at this point(the two bosses prior already have this). You can have splash/lingerin g potions ride on a mob, and when said mob is killed the potion will drop and splashes as if it was thrown. This could be interesting(lik e killing an add will leave behind a poison on the ground). As for the boss himself, previous abilities should remain. I don't remember if poison cloud stop but if it does, it shouldn't

iv) Alistair is very much a miniboss. With the only real mechanic is Herobrine shooting down at you, it isn't as memorable. It's okay if it was indeed meant to be one, as there's no combat between Midnight Skeleton and Alistair.

v) the second battle with Alistair(as well as the last one of the map) doesn't really met the expectation of a final boss(though it does hints at it). For starter, both Withered Zombie and Midnight Skeleton rarely even try walking in. I believe this is caused by barrier completely obscuring their vision meaning it is purely luck that they would even walk in. Removing the barriers on eye-level will allow them to chase after the player, and thus forcing the player to be more environmentally aware. And while we're at it, it might be interesting if the other two bosses get faster each time they fell.

That concude my criticisms with the map. Certainly have potential, and with more works it could be a great one.

+5 is catz Quoting Jara:

This map looks great I'm going to play it.

but u need to the mystery of herobrine chapter 1 before 2

0 poggr Quoting e:

Hello, this is a good map but I got stuck on a place where I had to find an lever, but theres anything nowhere, any help?

I had the same problem. It might be an error in the command blocks or something

+3 Terry Hi there, we are struggling to get through the water scene, we are battling to find a lever... not sure if there's something we missed... pls help!?

0 random person Quoting MohamedGamingArabic:

plz help i in combat with commander i has kill commander i drop heart in hopper what i doing?

try critical hits . to use it,you need to jump and click RMB as soon as you land ;)

0 NEO Meifwa Awwww Man Part Two Yo! Gotta say part one seemed more stable than part two as we ran into an issue with the command block not clearing the barrier at the graveyard. Also the diamonds in the hopper were too easily stolen by one of our members breaking the map. Maybe block them off with bedrock so that doesn't happen. Anyways still a good map
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7umj5d

0 kesekeks Super good map! Is there a reason that health doesnt recover with full hunger? Why are there steaks then?

+7 Jara This map looks great I'm going to play it.

+4 MohamedGamingArabic plz help i in combat with commander i has kill commander i drop heart in hopper what i doing?

+7 Brendino In matildas place when i picked up the axe that breaks birch planks the axe disappeared when i took it out of the chest

+7 e Hello, this is a good map but I got stuck on a place where I had to find an lever, but theres anything nowhere, any help?

+3 BeachFairy20 WOW. Such a great map. its so amazing and so fun!! im looking forward to the next one!!

+3 Jedi gaming I was waiting for this and was very excited i played its first part its story was amazing bro pls make all parts soon